Goals:Breaking the barriers

A parent’s greatest gift.

Love… The greatest emotion, the most powerful stimulant on the planet. Wars have been fought for it. Nations have fell because of it. It is portrayed in every great movie. It is what drives the hero against all odds.

But where does it fit within the hierarchy of our family?

Too often parents focus on being providers of materialistic things, and deprivers of what truly matters to us.

We live in an age of deteriorating human interaction. We aim to connect the planet through technology, but within the midst of it all, we forget the human touch…

When is the last time you hugged your mother/father, genuinely told them you love them. When is the last time you sat down with your kids or siblings, and ask them how things are going?

We have become a selfish species. Too often do I see parents worrying about their own happiness and freedom. They neglect the impact they have on the environment of their children.

It seems like forever ago since I’ve last sat down with family and tell stories, play games, share meals… I’m no exception, I too am guilty of being the distant son, the selfish, lone wolf brother. I have drifted hundreds of miles away from the people I call family, with little to no intension to return to the place I should be calling “home”.

I sit back and wonder, where are the examples of true love in the real wold. We see false glimmers of it in the movies, but around us, we see miserable couples, treating their children as if they are responsible for ruining their lives. As if the children are anchors, keeping them from reaching their dreams..

I vow to myself that I will do everything in my power to ensure my future children, regardless of what possessions they have, will know one thing for sure. They are loved. They are cherished, they are a blessing, and they are the future.

Here are a few points I feel are important.

1. Telling them isn’t enough.

Saying the worlds “I love you” isn’t enough. Kids are simply too smart to take anything you say at face value. You must show them you care. For a young kid, love = time. Quality, attentive time. The more time you carve out, and do the things that make that little one smile. The more love they feel.

As they grow, love = support. Children have the biggest dreams and imagination. With that, they will undoubtably have some ridiculous ideas of things they want to do, or who they aspire to become. The biggest mistake for a parent is to force their paradigm onto their children. Everyone must find their own path, all we want is to be encouraged and supported along that path. If it isn’t the right one for us, we will eventually figure it out. Yes you can educate your children to make the best decisions, and yes you can share insight on what may or may not happen. The second you say “do this because I say so, and I know best” is the second you lose their confidence. Truth is, you don’t know best. Time rapidly changes around us, your believes and knowledge is out dated. Their is a reason the sharing of knowledge shifts from the parents teaching the children, to children teaching the parents. We can’t always comprehend the world as they see it, but thats ok, we don’t have to. We just need to be there for them when they fall, and help them back to their feet. Embrace them with love, give them encouragement, and support their next attempt.

1 world of encouragement can move worlds. 1 act of kindness can define someones world. Be that source of love and encouragement for your children!
2.Get your priorities straight!
Your children don’t owe you for the 9 months, or the 18 years. They don’t have to work their entire lives trying to repay you for raising them. They aren’t the reason you can’t go out anymore, they aren’t the reason you can’t do the things you want to do, or be with the people you wan’t to be with.

This is an absurd way of thinking… There are plenty of parents out there having a marvelous time raising their kids, and growing their family.

There is a shift in mindset, when we go from seeing a child as an anchor, to seeing them as the sail that keeps us moving.

They are the unconditional source of love, and they are the loyal soldier that will follow mommy or daddy through any battle the world throws at us.

The fact that you have someone looking up to you, means you must thrive to be the best example you can be.

You aren’t just doing it for your own sake, or even for the sole sake of your children, no.. You are impacting the generation to come.

Who knows if your child will become a future president, or the future CEO of the worlds most admired brand.

There is no limit to what anyone can become. How would you like to be the one to have empowered that person to reach for the stars?

They don’t ask for much, love, attention, support, and a decent lifestyle. We don’t don’t have to give them the latest gear or gadgets. That doesn’t fulfill the deeper human need. No, we need provide love.
3.Break the trend.
There are too many broken homes, and single families. I know not every relationship will last forever, but let’s make smart choices. Do not sacrifice what you want the most, for what you want now.

Many times we go chasing temporary desires, and end up in a permanent situations, with someone we do not care for. This impacts the lifestyle of our offsprings. They are raised between two bears clawing at each other’s throats.

Let’s break this trend.. If you are in a wholesome family now, great job! keep working hard every day to do the things that makes everyone in the family happy. If you are in a single family situation, we understand, don’t forget the above things. Do your best to treat that little genius with respect, and show them love.

And my single people, do your best to stay clear of unwelcoming scenarios, and find a mate with the same core values in which you believe in.
If you reading this, you will have a bigger impact on the world than you can ever imagine. Be the beacon of light for our next generation. Be the shinning core of love for your children. Focus on the things that will make you happy, do activities as a family that will bring joy. Take those family vacations, and create priceless memories. Be the example of what a “loved one” should look like. Show them the qualities that make a great husband/wife.

In this world of “social” media, and mental pollution, we have to thrive to go back to basic human interactions. We have to thrive to keep love alive. We have to focus on the things that brings value to our reality, and align ourselves to be the best parents we can be. We have to empower our children to keep the human aspect alive, in the “Human” race.

Until next time friends!
Andre |<4D>| Taylor
~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

Perception : The Architect of our Reality.

Growing up I thought I was invulnerable, as a kid I refused to lose a fight. With a distant father and a household of women, I turned to the movies for masculine guidance. Bruce Lee was my mentor, and with his moves I became a Titan. That mentality carried over into my teens, and I quickly rose through the ranks at work. Always looking to learn and always striving for greatness, I became one of the youngest supervisors in the first company I worked with. It wasn’t until 2008 that my will was put to the test. It was then I discovered what it was like to lose control. Was it was like to fail.

It all started when the company canceled one of the projects I was helping to lead. Long story short, my position no longer existed, and until they had another opening, I had to go back to the position in the position in which I was promoted from. In a call center environment that meant back to the phones.. To add salt to he womb, all my piers still saw me as the go to person for the tough questions. So now I was doing both jobs, while also being constantly questioned as to why I’m no longer a team leader. This got frustrating quickly, and with no definite expectation of re-promotion, I began looking elsewhere. It was then I made one of the most costly decisions of my life.

With promise of 6 figure incomes, and thriving residual business, I went into sales, but not just sales, Insurance sales! Whilst the economy was on a downward spiral! I know, I know, not the smartest move, But I was young, ignorant, and was desperate to get back to the top of my game.

A few months went by, and the whole office praised my work ethic, I singlehandedly out dialed entire teams, and my energy was that of a knight in shiny armor. They presented the Coolaid, and I chugged it. Ignoring all doubts, and logic, I continually banged my head against the wall, invested more and more time and money, and received less and less in return. At the same time my life, relationships, and savings collapsed around me. The shovel was in my hand, and I was motivated to dig! What I didn’t realize, was that the more I dug, was the more I buried myself. And the gold I was digging for, was much deeper than I had anticipated.

Somewhere within the chaos I found something. A small ray of light glistening into the darkness. I can’t remember how it started, but I remember somewhere along the journey I watched the secret, and a few movies along that line, and it started to become clear. The law of attraction, perception is reality, you attract what you primarily think about, what ever phrase you tie to it. I started to realize that I was the person in control, and that I had allowed myself to slip into a victim mentality, cursing myself, and increasing my pain.

Once I decided to regain control, and change my perception of everything around me, I started to put the pieces back together. Anyone that have ever tried to reassemble an eggshell can tell you that, it is no easy task, not nearly as easy as breaking it. I decided I wasn’t going to let the outside world control how I felt, and acted on the inside. And so the road to recovery began. It took years to climb out of the financial debt I had put myself in, but it only took a few months to changed my mentality.

As I began to change I noticed my environment started to transform around me. Some things no longer interested me, and the desire for a fresh start was strong. It was then my new life and adventure began. An adventure I have been on now for 6 years, and an adventure that will continue for the test of my life. An adventure that has already taken me across 5 states, and 3 companies. The quest for knowledge, aiming to constantly surround myself with people I can learn from, and the desire to help the world to open their eyes and minds. I’ve always had a strong will, but it’s wisdom, and the application of knowledge, is what makes me powerful. And with the proper application of knowledge, comes numerous opportunities to continue to learn and grow.

Growth, not always an easy thing to do though. The forces of familiarity, and the influence of other people unwilling to change their own lives, continually pulls us off course.

It is a lonely path at times, and until we find the person that will partner with us to traverse these peaks, we will be constantly faced with distractions and tough decisions.

Here are a few things to help you along the journey of understanding “your” world, taking control of it, and changing the perception of everything around you. To preference I recomend glancing at the perception is reality bit from “Bam life Happened!” It’s a good  explanation of how perception works.

https://4dthoughts.com/2013/10/20/bam-life-happened/

 

Now on to the takeaways.

#1. You are the master of your world.
We hear this all the time but what does it really mean? Well your world doesn’t spin unless you are moving. Don’t believe me? try sitting down and do absolutely nothing. Whilst “the world” will continue on without you, “your world” will be still alongside you. Before you look at the world around you, look at the person shaping the world around you. That person is you, if you decide it’s going to be a crappy day in your world, no one can change that. Same thing goes for the latter. When you realize that no one else has control of how you see, and experience the world, you will become empowered to be its master. You are the master of your world. And don’t ever forget that!

#2.Decide who lives in your world.
Too often we let other people break down the walls of our happiness, and leave their garbage on our hearts floor. One thing I’ve learned over the years, if I don’t want someone ruining my day, then I better not give them the opportunity to! Some people won’t change no matter how much you want them to. I know sometimes you think you love them, and they are a good person. Question is, are you willing to put your world on the line so they can have temporary satisfaction or pleasure? Distancing yourself from someone isn’t always easy, but if they are chronically negative or hurtful, it is highly encouraged! I know it’s hard, especially when the nights are lonely, and they are so beautiful, but if you think to yourself, “god I need to stop hanging out with this person” then you need to make the tough decision and do it!

On the flip side of that coin, you can open up more of your world to positive, and encouraging people. Aim to meet and get to know as many positive people as you can. There is a specific science that proves that your closest 5 friends are a reflection of who you are. I’m personally on a quest to develop the relationship I have with the positive people around me. Whether it’s through accountability partnerships, mentorship, or just like minded fiends doing things they enjoy, surrounding yourself with positive people will undoubtedly enrich your life and theirs.

#3. Decide what goes on in your world.
The toughest damn thing on this planet to have, is self discipline. When we are hungry we want to eat, when we are thirsty we want to drink, when we are horny.. well you get the picture. Chances are the things that will undoubtedly make us successful will undoubtedly be something that’s hard, and something we won’t “feel” like doing. Well you guessed it, the things that successful people do, is the same thing they don’t always feel like doing either, but they do it anyway!

For example, waking up and working out in the mornings. Going home when everyone else is going to the bar, reading a book while everyone else is out partying, taking accountability for your actions, apologizing for your mistakes, etc etc etc.

Growing is painful, we don’t like pain, it hurts! But we need to push onward. Until we become self disciplined, we will never be successful. Here is a quick challenge for ya, the thing you like to do, stop doing it for a month. (Unless it’s bathing, please don’t stop bathing!) In my case I stopped going to the bar and drinking those tasty White Russians, or those intoxicating long islands. Do I miss it every now and then, sometimes. Being around social buddies, acting silly, temporarily escaping our troubles. Here are something’s I don’t miss however, empty wallet, feeling like crap the next day, no money for vacations, because I spent it all at the bar.. Yeah don’t miss those.

When it comes down to it, nothing goes down in our world unless we allow it to, sometimes we just have to learn to say no. It’s tough to break away from the group and do your own thing, but your world doesn’t orbit them, it orbits you. Spend time with the people who will invest into your future, people who love you, not just the people that will invest into buying you 1 drink. Do things that will position you for success, aim to have a healthy body, an educated mind, and a disciplined lifestyle.

#4: Decide how your world is affected by things that go on in “the world”
Things out of your control are going to happen. Don’t let them change your world, don’t let them change the way you think, act, or perceive them. For every action, their is an opposite and equal reaction. Within every strife, lies the seeds of an equal future victory. It’s not always what happens to us, it is who we become whilst overcoming it.

I’ve become a much different person from who I was 10 years ago, heck I’m much different from who I was 10 months ago. Life is a journey, we must learn to look for the lessons in the oppositions. And when we think back, think of what we have learned. Do not dwell on the pain, it can consume you, and break your will to move on. The fact that you are reading this means this is not for you, you are a fighter, the king of your world, and the universe will open up endless opportunities for your world to grow and influence many others.

5.Continue to grow your world.
Be the amazing person you are engineered to be. As you grow and learn, your reach will expand, your quest will attract countless co adventures. Be the example for the world to see, and your world will transform around you. You will be intoxicated by the joys of life, you will do things you have never even dreamt of doing, meet people you’ve only seen on tv. Go places you’ve only seen in the movies. And have the life that everyone wishes to have. Remember you are more valuable to “the world” the more you know, and more successful habits you form. Learn to release fear, continue to read blog post like these, and books of influence, become the best version of you possible. If you have already found your co star, you let them know daily what they mean to you, if you already have kids, you let them know how much you care about them every time you see them. Let your family know how much you miss them, let your friends know how much you love being in their presence. Become the light the world needs, and you will undoubtedly attract the light of others and the light of the world.

Until next time friends.
Andre (4D) Taylor
~Born for Greatness, Live to become Legendary!~

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

The Kid-Vestment Strategy : A Guide to raising Millionaires, and Awesome kids!!

Here are a few interesting statistics, 75% of parents in America feel they aren’t managing their money effectively. 69% feel less confident about having the talk about money, than they are at having the sex talk with their kids. And about 50% of early college students have overdrawn their accounts.

This vicious cycle of bad money management habits plague our lifestyles today. Today the top two causes of stress are money and job pressure, topping even health and relationships. And money is one of the leading causes why relationships and marriages fail, next to communication and sex.

Safe to say that learning how to manage money and creating good spending and investment habits, would not only make our lives more stress free. It will also allow us to have happier, deeper relationships, and a more self fulfillment lifestyle.

All this being said, it is damn tough to change habits! Let’s think for a second though, what if our parents had instill some of these things into our subconscious when we were growing up? What if someone had that talk with you, showed you the value of saving or shared proper purchasing techniques. How much would you have in your account today? How much more stress free and happier would you be? How many more options would you have?

Today’s post is aimed at one very important objective, empower the generation of tomorrow. And in doing so empower ourselves!

Welcome to The Kid-Vestment strategies, a group of ideas and lifestyle aimed at prepping our kids, in ways that the normal system of education does not. Prepping them for the real world, and sharing concepts that will empower them to be millionaires!

So here are a few things to highlight before we get going. Thousands of millionaires were studied and a few habits were found to be common grounds between them all.

1. Live below your means. You can start by only spending 99% of your income, becoming comfortable as such, then down to 98, 97, 96, etc. Most millionaire today save a minimum of 10% of their income, and the really discipline ones upwards of 30-40%. They then invest their savings into low risk, guaranteed rate of returns such as mutual funds, to allow their money to grow.

1b. Pay yourself first! This means before paying any bills at all, you move that 10% over to your savings. I personally have it direct deposited into a totally different account that I do not have a debit card for. This helps me to keep it out of sight and out of mind.

2. Create budgets and stick to it! If you decide you will only spend $200 on drinks and entertainment. Or $200 a month eating out. Be discipline to not spend a penny more than that.

3. Do not buy things on impulse. Successful people delay big purchases for 10-30 days. This allows them to re-evaluate the decision, see the long term return on their investment, and plan accordingly. Most millionaires never buy expensive items new. Items like cars lose up to 20% of their value the second you drive it off the lot, which is equivalent to owning and driving a car normally for 1 whole year. This means buying a second hand car will retain more value over 3-5 years than buying a new car and owning it for 2-3.

4. Develop a work for yourself mentality. Regardless of who writes your paycheck, Work as if it was your own business. This will not only make you more valuable, it will also make you more comfortable with the idea of managing relationships.

5. Invest into yourself. Wealthy people invest at least 3% of their income into learning more about their field, as well as investments and savings. Invest time and money in becoming more valuable to yourself, piers, family, and business.

Now on to The Kid-Vestment Strategy.

The kid in this scenario is going to be Aaron Taylor. Aaron is a 7 year old boy, and we are getting ready to teach him the values of money management. (At 3 years old the average child can see the value of saving. It’s never too early!)

Aaron is now going to be considered as Aaron Taylor LLC.

AT LLC (for short) will earn 10 “Shares” a week.
The value of each of Aaron’s Shares will start at a value of $1

Now the parent will decide what his “standard” duties are to earn these 10 shares.
For example waking up on time, keeping room clean, maintaining a certain grade level, etc will be his standard duties. Failure to do any of these will result in a subtraction of what that activity is worth.

For easy math if he has 4 standard duties and fails to do one of them he will only earn 7.5 shares that week, which is 3/4 of his total.

Now here is where it gets fun! Any additional activities that Aaron does over his standard duties will increase the value of his companies shares.

For example AT LLC is now at a 1 share to $1 ratio.

At the end of every week, you will settle up the totals and reassign a new value to AT LLC’s shares.

*Since kids are visual oriented, it helps to have a board that shows all current details of AT LLC, values, activities, recent earnings and losses etc.

You can get creative as to how many points activities are worth, but for simplicity let’s say each is worth 1 point. So if Aaron helps dad clean the garage +1, helps mom with laundry +1, does extra credit assignment for school +1, all within 1 week.

His shares earns a total of 3 points. Which now means the value of AT LLC shares have gone up 3 points from $1 to $1.03

You can decide if you want the complexity of compound interest or not, but to keep it simple every point will be worth + 1 cent in share value (increasing as Aaron gets older, and task becomes more time consuming)

Now For losses.

If Aaron “gets into trouble” “have bad grades” etc (things you feel have a negative impact on AT LLC) he will have incur negative points (-1) bringing his overall value down.

For example. Aaron gets into a fight at school and gets suspended, this significant negative event may be valued at -10 points.

So now AT LLC goes from being worth $1.03 to $.93 per share, on top of what ever punishment the parent deems fit to Aaron. This strongly pushes Aaron away from negative events, because he knows it will also cost him money. Which intern as adults is the same result.

Aaron can choose to at any time trade a number of shares in for their Dollar value.

Now that we have basics of earnings and losses down, let’s move on to saving.

At the end of every week Aaron will have the option to put some of his shares into a savings account.

You can choose a matching deposit based on the amount Aaron chooses to deposit. And this can be an actual Savings account at a financial institution.

For example if I am matching up to 50% of Aaron’s savings every time he deposited $10 I will also deposit $5 into his savings account.

Now the catch to this is, that unless it is an emergency, Aaron can not withdraw funds from his savings without a penalty. So if we decide that he will have a 20% penalty. He will only receive $8 dollars for every $10 he withdraws. The 20% penalty is deducted from the amount being withdrew and paid to the parent (who is the one matching his deposits).

Aaron will also have a period of time after each deposit in which he cannot make a withdrawal from his savings account (unless it’s and emergency)for example 10 days. This will prevent him from using the deposit matching as a way of just increasing his over cash. The savings account is meant for long term savings. Whether it’s for a rainy day, or towards a specific goal like a new bike, or school field trip.

This also means that any impulsive desire will have to go through a wait period before he can use his savings to supplement it’s purchase. He can impulsively cash in his shares and spend away at any time, but he cannot impulsive pull out of his savings. He will inherently learn to delay impulse buys with this method.

You can also choose to waive any penalties for saving withdrawals on specific dates, such as birthday, Christmas etc.

It will be strongly recommended that Aaron saves at least 10% of his weekly earnings.

A significant point to this all is that parents need to set aside money matching the current value of AT LLC in the event Aaron wishes to cash in his shares. Good money management starts with you!

So let’s review.
“Aaron you are going to earn shares every week! the value of your shares is based on your behavior. You can also chose to save some of these shares in which I make a matching contribution towards. Any money deposited into your savings will have penalties if withdrawn, and a period of time in which it is not accessible. Unless it is a an emergency or time of year for special purchasing, for example birthdays or Christmas. And Any major impulse purchases should go through a evaluation period.”

No kid is going to give up the opportunity to earn more. Especially if there is no structured way for them to do so now. These habits and practices can be directly evolved into successful money management strategies.

As of now The Kid-Vestment Strategies is just a pool of thoughts based on the research and information gathered by highly successful people such as Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar and various wealth mentors. However with proper application or usage of variants of these strategies we can empower our youth to have very successful habits. And intern become millionaires! A bi product of this is that your kids will be strongly self motivated to be awesome kids, as it will also reflect on their ability to get the things they want. It is definitely a win win win scenario, in which we can all be a part of!

 

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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Daily inspirational quotes.

Hello all, quick post inviting you to follow me on twitter for daily quotes of inspiration. Find me @4DThinker

Today’s quote “You do not believe what you see, you see what you believe. Your outer reality is just a reflection of your inner believes. Thus is your believe of your potential for failure or success.

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

Fear : Cancer of the Mind.

Fear is like a cancer, it begins in the mind, seeps into our bloodstream, pumps out to our muscles, weakens our lungs, amputates our will, impales our courage, and desolates our chances at achieving success.

 Have you ever worked with someone you were highly attracted to? You pass them in the hallway and blushingly smile at them. You gaze at them through the corner of your eyes, and even visualize being out on a date with them. You have had countless opportunities to speak to that person, and get to know them, but that nagging voice in the back of your head holds you back. “What if they are seeing someone? What if they don’t like me? What if it makes things weird? What if I mess it up? What if ____?”

I’ve been guilty of this before. It’s never an easy thing to face your fears and shoot for the stars.

Fear of of Rejection, Failure, Discomfort, Pain, and even Fear of Success, prevents us from even attempting the things that would bring us joy or happiness.

In most cases, the fear of the pain it may bring, is more powerful than the thoughts of success.

We unconsciously process the downsides to situations, with hundreds of “what ifs” channeling through our minds, quickly gauging the amount of pain, or suffering the situation could bring, and then unconsciously snapping back into our comfort zone. Erasing the idea from thought, and moving on, in our perceived bubble/safe zone.

The Surprising part of it all, is that 95% of the things we fear, aren’t justifiably real.

Most of the “What ifs?” are over exaggerated instances based on past experiences or fictional outcomes.

Not to worry though, before you are finished reading this post, you will know how to identify these fears, and you will be armed with the ammunition to confront and overcome them!

Let’s take a quick step back and learn a little about fear, and then we can talk about a few techniques to help overcome them.

We are actually only born with 2 fears. Fear of Loud Noises and Fair of Falling. These are build into your DNA, and are passed down through generations as a survival mechanism. Their purpose is to keep us alive, by alerting us to potential dangers, and motivating us to avoid them.

This means, all the other fears were acquired at some point in our lives. An event in our life or someone else’s life has associated pain or danger to what ever it is we fear. So now we are strongly motivated to avoid these things, and the emotions they bring.

Just like anything else you have learned along the way, these things can be unlearned or overwritten, once you become aware that they aren’t justifiably real.

There are three main types of fear. Internal, External, and subconscious.

External Fears are the most easily recognized. They are caused by something outside of us, that we are strongly motivated to avoid. Some of these can be categorized as Phobias. For example: fear of flying, spiders, small spaces etc are all external fears. And most of the time these are a result of a negative experience in the past. These fears are often valid because it helps to protect ourselves from harm. In these cases the possibility of perceived harm or imminent danger, originates from something “outside” of us.

Internal Fears are usually things triggered by external factors, however internal fears are not specific to any circumstance, and are due to internal emotions. This can make these fears difficult to recognize.

Internal fears manifest as fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, lack of self worth and doubt. These fears usually prevents us from even trying, because we think it will just bring more pain or suffering if we have a negative outcome.

Subconscious Fears are similar to internal fears, except subconscious fears are believed to be a part of who we really are. Subconscious fears develop into limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs filter how we see the world. An example of a limiting belief would be the thought of not being intelligent enough to amount to anything great, because you didn’t finish high school. Limiting beliefs usually try to convince you that you’re not good enough to do something.

Because they are beliefs, they are hard to recognize and eliminate. Sometimes what we think is true about our self, is just an irrational belief.

If you have read my previous post “Mind Control : The prologue to success” you might have guessed that the key to overcoming fear lies within our subconscious programming.

As is, our reaction to the things we fear is automatic. We don’t stop and think, “geee there is a king cobra slithering towards me, should I stay or run? (unless you have been trained/programmed to deal with snakes) ” No we just react, at least I know I would!

This reaction is our Fight or Flight survival mechanism. And until we can reprogram this subconscious reaction, we will never be able to overcome the things we fear.

This is never an easy process, and may take repeated exposure to the things we fear. After we have confronted the fear a few times without suffering the harm or pain we expected, we will become desensitized to the thing we once feared.

Many of the things we fear are caused by ignorance. We are afraid of the unknown. When our brain gets a few pieces of the puzzle, it automatically fills in rest based on our conditioning.

for example. “You were caught red ___, trying to butter her __. What’s the matter, cat got your ___?” Your brain fills in the gaps so it can understand the whole sentence. Same principle applies when we don’t have all the information. We begin to worry about something, our brain fills in the gaps, and before you know it, we imagine things that may not happen, or even have the possibility of happening.

So the first step of overcoming any fear is going to be Identifying exactly what it is you are afraid of. For Example, people who are afraid of flying, aren’t actually afraid of being on the plane and flying, they are afraid of the plane crashing and dying as a result.

So our first step will be to Identify the specific fear or thing driving the fear.

We then move on to desensitizing it and overcoming it. Before this however, we have to have a strong desire to do it.

To help this desire, write down why you want to overcome this fear. What negative impact has it had on your life? How would conquering this fear change your life? The bigger the benefits, the more energy you will invest in overcoming the fear.

 Now let’s talk about a few awesome ways of confronting your fears.

Immediate Exposure technique.
This technique is often recommended but cautioned. It requires facing the fear by exposing yourself to it immediately and intensively. It is cautioned because it causes high anxiety, and panic, as you confront the fear head on. This would be like taking someone that’s afraid of heights sky diving, or sticking someone on stage in front of millions, that’s afraid of public speaking. If successful you would be immediately desensitized to the fear, however if a traumatic experience happens as a result of this, it would only confirm or further rationalize why you were afraid of this in the first place.

Be sure that you are absolutely ready to do anything it takes and continue to do it, until you have overcame this fear, before diving head first into this technique.

The next Technique is Gradual Exposure.

This technique often requires someone to help through the process, or strong self accountability. It takes place over a series of steps, which increases intensity of exposure, as you become more comfortable facing the fear.

The idea is to gradually desensitize yourself by initially starting in a non-threatening situation, and then building up over time to slightly more and more threatening instances, until you eventually reach your goal of overcoming the fear.

Along with these two methods here are a few methods to overcome fears easily.

One of my favorites (probably because of the name lol)
Progressive Collapse (not like in building collapsing!)

Progressing Collapse is best described as the “and then what?” technique. It takes the worst case scenario in any situation, and then ask. “and then what?”

For example I’m driving home as I realize my one of my headlights is out. I can either start to become fearful, and paranoid about every cop looking car behind me, as I nervously grip the steering wheel, or I can apply this technique.

I’m afraid to get pulled over..
and then what? well the cop is going to ask me if I know why I’m being pulled over?
and then what? I tell him I just realized it went out.
and then what? He can give me a ticket.
and then what? I’m going to have to pay it or go to court.
and then what? I can get a fine, which I have to pay.
and then what? Less money to do blah but I’ll be fine..

So worst case scenario it might cost me some money. Know what, so is having a nice dinner with friends, that’s not so bad. Proceed to turning the music back up, and cruising home..

Most of the things we fear aren’t so bad, once we progress the storyline, they collapse onto themselves and we realize, it wasn’t that big of a deal to begin with.

Changing the Movie in your Mind. Is also another useful technique. In most cases our mind conjures up pictures, sounds, or feelings of negative events or consequences when we encounter our fears. Try to associate something a little brighter or funnier into these pictures. Maybe your favorite song, or comedian. This will reduce the impact the fear has on us. Our fears are only as powerful as its representation in our minds.

Reframe : Depending on how nice of a frame you put on a picture, it can make that picture look immensely better. With the opposite effect using a crappy frame on a nice picture.

How we look at a situation determines how we will respond to it. By looking at something bad, as a lesson learned, or awareness created. We reframe that result, which makes it less threatening, and instead a benefit to us.

Circle of Power : Think of a time in which you were greatly successful. Maybe it was an award you receive, or some kind of recognition in something you are awesome at. Remember how you felt, remember the confidence you had. And in your mind create a circle beneath your feet that takes you back to that moment. Now when going into a fearful situation, step into that circle. Feel that confidence of being awesome, and then take that power with you, as you face that fear! Over the years I’ve personally wore different tokens of power, which I would use to channel my inner confidence  whenever I needed it. Use what ever works best for you.

FEAR : False Evidence Appearing Real. Remember 95% of the things we fear, are only illusions created by our minds, to try and protect us. It isn’t the actual reality of it. Fear is the biggest cancer in today’s society, and when we become courageous, we break barriers!

In the past, Doctors (These guys are smart people!) said that it was impossible to run a sub 4 minute mile, because the human body couldn’t handle it. And for years many runners were in fear of pain an injury, which limited their minds from allowing them to do so. Roger Bannister understood how the mind works, and when he broke that 4 minute mile unscathed, many followed in his footsteps.

Let’s Break those barriers, and reach new heights in our lives! Let’s conquer those fears, and unlock our true potential!

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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Quick introduction to First Person View, A video travel series that takes you on an epic adventure around the world, from a first person perspective.

See the worlds greatest sites, adventure to the greatest cities, try the most delicious foods, and travel with amazing people!

Stay tuned for Episode 1, Skydiving in Northern VA, coming soon!

More details here.

http://4dtravels.com/about/

Target adventure locations here (being refined)

http://sprng.me/jbt8v

Goals:Breaking the barriers

Mind Control : The Prologue to Success

Have you ever been addicted to anything? Smoking, drinking, caffeine, drugs, sex, love?

Have you ever tried quitting that addiction?

No matter how hard you push forward, there is something pulling you back. The sense of familiarly, the comfort in its warmth, the at home feeling in its doing.

You know the light at the tunnel will be better for you, but it seems so far and so desolate, the path so uncomfortable and so unfamiliar.

Every time you partake in the addiction, it brings you back to feeling safe, but once the seconds of comfort fades, you realize how desperate you need to break that habit. For your time grows short and you know history will soon sweep you under the rugs of the forgotten, unless you break these chains. These chains of failure.

Failure is an addiction. It is the path of least resistance. The path to victory is uncomfortable, it forces us to grow, forces us to change, and forces us to reprogram our minds.

That nagging voice in the back of our heads that begs us to stay within the realms of familiarity, that is our subconscious.

Programmed since childhood, programmed by our environment, our elders, our experiences.

Some say all men are created equal, we all have the same ability, potential, I agree. What we do not have however, is the same subconscious programming.

We wonder how some people have the drive they do, how they accomplish things others couldn’t even dream of dreaming about.

Thus lies within our master program. Thus lies within our subconscious.

The good thing is, like any good computer, our operating system can be upgraded, reformed, polished, and repurposed.

We can take control of the mind, and reprogram it to drive us for success, even while we are unconscious of its efforts, even while we sleep!

Ever had something you were working on, a question, or a problem you were trying to solve. You thought long and hard about the solution but nothing, and then randomly whilst you were doing something totally different. Bam! The answer came to you.

Amazing isn’t it? Our subconscious continues to process any thought or thought process given to it. Amazing yes, but can be destructive to our well being, if left lingering on negative thinking. Working 1000 times as much as our active thoughts, it’s like putting a 9 year old behind the wheel of 1000 horse power vehicle, and telling him “have fun!”

So the big question is, how do we change our programming?

There is no easy answer to this question. Before we can even begin to rewrite the code, we need to understand some basics of how the operating system works.

There is allot of things we do today, or allot of thoughts we have, that we have no idea why we do or have them. Whether it’s something that slipped by us unconsciously, or something programmed into us by the environment (media, friends, anything exposed to).

There are many many articles and books about the subconscious mind, the differences between the conscious mind, and how it all connects. Marketing and media specialist know these things, they know how to bypass your active defenses or believe systems and get right to your subconscious. I urge you to at least know how to direct your own sails, how to understand your own master program. To begin that process I will share what I’ve learned.

The Conscious mind.
The actively thinking mind, intellectual mind, educated mind.

The Subconscious mind.
The automatic mind, the supercomputer, the master program, controller of our body functions, our emotions, and reflexes.

Naturally the subconscious mind is much much more powerful than our active thinking, egotistic, prideful, will power driven, conscious mind. And until you get it onboard with what you are trying to accomplish, the battle will be a steep incline upwards.

Fortunately for us, the subconscious runs with whatever the conscious mind commands it to do.

So here are a few quick steps on how to align your subconscious with what you want to consciously achieve.

Step 1. Trust your subconscious. It is a powerful hyper thinking machine at our disposal, it reminds us of our non negotiables, and provides wisdom to the things we are resisting. Learn to listen to it. Find time to be quite and actively try to understand what this super computer is doing.

Step 2. Get specific with what you want. Interview the subconscious, it’s a far more intelligent version of you than you think you are. Find out the details of what’s holding you back, and what you gain or lose from moving forward.

Step 3. Make a promise, make a commitment. You want your subconscious on your side, you need to work with it and not against it. What ever it is that’s down the path of success that you fear, if it is something you will not sacrifice, then make a promise to yourself. If becoming successful means “less time with my friends” or “less freedom to do _____” then I will not continue. By doing this we can be more open to the idea of pushing forward.

Step 4. Surround yourself with success stories. Find people that have gone down that path before, we must convince the subconscious that it is possible, and give it something to work towards. If we truly believe we can do great things, so will our subconscious. Visualization is a great tool for becoming more familiar with successful feelings.
Step 5. Reaffirm. Constantly remind yourself of the end result. How it will feel when you get there, the promise you made to yourself. Have something to remind you to do this whenever it is comfortable. Right before bed or right after workout or meditation are good times to access the subconscious.

We have just scratched the surface of understanding and reprogramming the subconscious to be onboard with what we are aiming to accomplish, but I hope this provides some insight or at least got you interested in learning more. I know I am definitely going to be researching and pushing to master my personal supercomputer, and I hope you all do the same!

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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