Goals:Breaking the barriers

Fear : Cancer of the Mind.

Fear is like a cancer, it begins in the mind, seeps into our bloodstream, pumps out to our muscles, weakens our lungs, amputates our will, impales our courage, and desolates our chances at achieving success.

 Have you ever worked with someone you were highly attracted to? You pass them in the hallway and blushingly smile at them. You gaze at them through the corner of your eyes, and even visualize being out on a date with them. You have had countless opportunities to speak to that person, and get to know them, but that nagging voice in the back of your head holds you back. “What if they are seeing someone? What if they don’t like me? What if it makes things weird? What if I mess it up? What if ____?”

I’ve been guilty of this before. It’s never an easy thing to face your fears and shoot for the stars.

Fear of of Rejection, Failure, Discomfort, Pain, and even Fear of Success, prevents us from even attempting the things that would bring us joy or happiness.

In most cases, the fear of the pain it may bring, is more powerful than the thoughts of success.

We unconsciously process the downsides to situations, with hundreds of “what ifs” channeling through our minds, quickly gauging the amount of pain, or suffering the situation could bring, and then unconsciously snapping back into our comfort zone. Erasing the idea from thought, and moving on, in our perceived bubble/safe zone.

The Surprising part of it all, is that 95% of the things we fear, aren’t justifiably real.

Most of the “What ifs?” are over exaggerated instances based on past experiences or fictional outcomes.

Not to worry though, before you are finished reading this post, you will know how to identify these fears, and you will be armed with the ammunition to confront and overcome them!

Let’s take a quick step back and learn a little about fear, and then we can talk about a few techniques to help overcome them.

We are actually only born with 2 fears. Fear of Loud Noises and Fair of Falling. These are build into your DNA, and are passed down through generations as a survival mechanism. Their purpose is to keep us alive, by alerting us to potential dangers, and motivating us to avoid them.

This means, all the other fears were acquired at some point in our lives. An event in our life or someone else’s life has associated pain or danger to what ever it is we fear. So now we are strongly motivated to avoid these things, and the emotions they bring.

Just like anything else you have learned along the way, these things can be unlearned or overwritten, once you become aware that they aren’t justifiably real.

There are three main types of fear. Internal, External, and subconscious.

External Fears are the most easily recognized. They are caused by something outside of us, that we are strongly motivated to avoid. Some of these can be categorized as Phobias. For example: fear of flying, spiders, small spaces etc are all external fears. And most of the time these are a result of a negative experience in the past. These fears are often valid because it helps to protect ourselves from harm. In these cases the possibility of perceived harm or imminent danger, originates from something “outside” of us.

Internal Fears are usually things triggered by external factors, however internal fears are not specific to any circumstance, and are due to internal emotions. This can make these fears difficult to recognize.

Internal fears manifest as fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, lack of self worth and doubt. These fears usually prevents us from even trying, because we think it will just bring more pain or suffering if we have a negative outcome.

Subconscious Fears are similar to internal fears, except subconscious fears are believed to be a part of who we really are. Subconscious fears develop into limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs filter how we see the world. An example of a limiting belief would be the thought of not being intelligent enough to amount to anything great, because you didn’t finish high school. Limiting beliefs usually try to convince you that you’re not good enough to do something.

Because they are beliefs, they are hard to recognize and eliminate. Sometimes what we think is true about our self, is just an irrational belief.

If you have read my previous post “Mind Control : The prologue to success” you might have guessed that the key to overcoming fear lies within our subconscious programming.

As is, our reaction to the things we fear is automatic. We don’t stop and think, “geee there is a king cobra slithering towards me, should I stay or run? (unless you have been trained/programmed to deal with snakes) ” No we just react, at least I know I would!

This reaction is our Fight or Flight survival mechanism. And until we can reprogram this subconscious reaction, we will never be able to overcome the things we fear.

This is never an easy process, and may take repeated exposure to the things we fear. After we have confronted the fear a few times without suffering the harm or pain we expected, we will become desensitized to the thing we once feared.

Many of the things we fear are caused by ignorance. We are afraid of the unknown. When our brain gets a few pieces of the puzzle, it automatically fills in rest based on our conditioning.

for example. “You were caught red ___, trying to butter her __. What’s the matter, cat got your ___?” Your brain fills in the gaps so it can understand the whole sentence. Same principle applies when we don’t have all the information. We begin to worry about something, our brain fills in the gaps, and before you know it, we imagine things that may not happen, or even have the possibility of happening.

So the first step of overcoming any fear is going to be Identifying exactly what it is you are afraid of. For Example, people who are afraid of flying, aren’t actually afraid of being on the plane and flying, they are afraid of the plane crashing and dying as a result.

So our first step will be to Identify the specific fear or thing driving the fear.

We then move on to desensitizing it and overcoming it. Before this however, we have to have a strong desire to do it.

To help this desire, write down why you want to overcome this fear. What negative impact has it had on your life? How would conquering this fear change your life? The bigger the benefits, the more energy you will invest in overcoming the fear.

 Now let’s talk about a few awesome ways of confronting your fears.

Immediate Exposure technique.
This technique is often recommended but cautioned. It requires facing the fear by exposing yourself to it immediately and intensively. It is cautioned because it causes high anxiety, and panic, as you confront the fear head on. This would be like taking someone that’s afraid of heights sky diving, or sticking someone on stage in front of millions, that’s afraid of public speaking. If successful you would be immediately desensitized to the fear, however if a traumatic experience happens as a result of this, it would only confirm or further rationalize why you were afraid of this in the first place.

Be sure that you are absolutely ready to do anything it takes and continue to do it, until you have overcame this fear, before diving head first into this technique.

The next Technique is Gradual Exposure.

This technique often requires someone to help through the process, or strong self accountability. It takes place over a series of steps, which increases intensity of exposure, as you become more comfortable facing the fear.

The idea is to gradually desensitize yourself by initially starting in a non-threatening situation, and then building up over time to slightly more and more threatening instances, until you eventually reach your goal of overcoming the fear.

Along with these two methods here are a few methods to overcome fears easily.

One of my favorites (probably because of the name lol)
Progressive Collapse (not like in building collapsing!)

Progressing Collapse is best described as the “and then what?” technique. It takes the worst case scenario in any situation, and then ask. “and then what?”

For example I’m driving home as I realize my one of my headlights is out. I can either start to become fearful, and paranoid about every cop looking car behind me, as I nervously grip the steering wheel, or I can apply this technique.

I’m afraid to get pulled over..
and then what? well the cop is going to ask me if I know why I’m being pulled over?
and then what? I tell him I just realized it went out.
and then what? He can give me a ticket.
and then what? I’m going to have to pay it or go to court.
and then what? I can get a fine, which I have to pay.
and then what? Less money to do blah but I’ll be fine..

So worst case scenario it might cost me some money. Know what, so is having a nice dinner with friends, that’s not so bad. Proceed to turning the music back up, and cruising home..

Most of the things we fear aren’t so bad, once we progress the storyline, they collapse onto themselves and we realize, it wasn’t that big of a deal to begin with.

Changing the Movie in your Mind. Is also another useful technique. In most cases our mind conjures up pictures, sounds, or feelings of negative events or consequences when we encounter our fears. Try to associate something a little brighter or funnier into these pictures. Maybe your favorite song, or comedian. This will reduce the impact the fear has on us. Our fears are only as powerful as its representation in our minds.

Reframe : Depending on how nice of a frame you put on a picture, it can make that picture look immensely better. With the opposite effect using a crappy frame on a nice picture.

How we look at a situation determines how we will respond to it. By looking at something bad, as a lesson learned, or awareness created. We reframe that result, which makes it less threatening, and instead a benefit to us.

Circle of Power : Think of a time in which you were greatly successful. Maybe it was an award you receive, or some kind of recognition in something you are awesome at. Remember how you felt, remember the confidence you had. And in your mind create a circle beneath your feet that takes you back to that moment. Now when going into a fearful situation, step into that circle. Feel that confidence of being awesome, and then take that power with you, as you face that fear! Over the years I’ve personally wore different tokens of power, which I would use to channel my inner confidence  whenever I needed it. Use what ever works best for you.

FEAR : False Evidence Appearing Real. Remember 95% of the things we fear, are only illusions created by our minds, to try and protect us. It isn’t the actual reality of it. Fear is the biggest cancer in today’s society, and when we become courageous, we break barriers!

In the past, Doctors (These guys are smart people!) said that it was impossible to run a sub 4 minute mile, because the human body couldn’t handle it. And for years many runners were in fear of pain an injury, which limited their minds from allowing them to do so. Roger Bannister understood how the mind works, and when he broke that 4 minute mile unscathed, many followed in his footsteps.

Let’s Break those barriers, and reach new heights in our lives! Let’s conquer those fears, and unlock our true potential!

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

Mind Control : The Prologue to Success

Have you ever been addicted to anything? Smoking, drinking, caffeine, drugs, sex, love?

Have you ever tried quitting that addiction?

No matter how hard you push forward, there is something pulling you back. The sense of familiarly, the comfort in its warmth, the at home feeling in its doing.

You know the light at the tunnel will be better for you, but it seems so far and so desolate, the path so uncomfortable and so unfamiliar.

Every time you partake in the addiction, it brings you back to feeling safe, but once the seconds of comfort fades, you realize how desperate you need to break that habit. For your time grows short and you know history will soon sweep you under the rugs of the forgotten, unless you break these chains. These chains of failure.

Failure is an addiction. It is the path of least resistance. The path to victory is uncomfortable, it forces us to grow, forces us to change, and forces us to reprogram our minds.

That nagging voice in the back of our heads that begs us to stay within the realms of familiarity, that is our subconscious.

Programmed since childhood, programmed by our environment, our elders, our experiences.

Some say all men are created equal, we all have the same ability, potential, I agree. What we do not have however, is the same subconscious programming.

We wonder how some people have the drive they do, how they accomplish things others couldn’t even dream of dreaming about.

Thus lies within our master program. Thus lies within our subconscious.

The good thing is, like any good computer, our operating system can be upgraded, reformed, polished, and repurposed.

We can take control of the mind, and reprogram it to drive us for success, even while we are unconscious of its efforts, even while we sleep!

Ever had something you were working on, a question, or a problem you were trying to solve. You thought long and hard about the solution but nothing, and then randomly whilst you were doing something totally different. Bam! The answer came to you.

Amazing isn’t it? Our subconscious continues to process any thought or thought process given to it. Amazing yes, but can be destructive to our well being, if left lingering on negative thinking. Working 1000 times as much as our active thoughts, it’s like putting a 9 year old behind the wheel of 1000 horse power vehicle, and telling him “have fun!”

So the big question is, how do we change our programming?

There is no easy answer to this question. Before we can even begin to rewrite the code, we need to understand some basics of how the operating system works.

There is allot of things we do today, or allot of thoughts we have, that we have no idea why we do or have them. Whether it’s something that slipped by us unconsciously, or something programmed into us by the environment (media, friends, anything exposed to).

There are many many articles and books about the subconscious mind, the differences between the conscious mind, and how it all connects. Marketing and media specialist know these things, they know how to bypass your active defenses or believe systems and get right to your subconscious. I urge you to at least know how to direct your own sails, how to understand your own master program. To begin that process I will share what I’ve learned.

The Conscious mind.
The actively thinking mind, intellectual mind, educated mind.

The Subconscious mind.
The automatic mind, the supercomputer, the master program, controller of our body functions, our emotions, and reflexes.

Naturally the subconscious mind is much much more powerful than our active thinking, egotistic, prideful, will power driven, conscious mind. And until you get it onboard with what you are trying to accomplish, the battle will be a steep incline upwards.

Fortunately for us, the subconscious runs with whatever the conscious mind commands it to do.

So here are a few quick steps on how to align your subconscious with what you want to consciously achieve.

Step 1. Trust your subconscious. It is a powerful hyper thinking machine at our disposal, it reminds us of our non negotiables, and provides wisdom to the things we are resisting. Learn to listen to it. Find time to be quite and actively try to understand what this super computer is doing.

Step 2. Get specific with what you want. Interview the subconscious, it’s a far more intelligent version of you than you think you are. Find out the details of what’s holding you back, and what you gain or lose from moving forward.

Step 3. Make a promise, make a commitment. You want your subconscious on your side, you need to work with it and not against it. What ever it is that’s down the path of success that you fear, if it is something you will not sacrifice, then make a promise to yourself. If becoming successful means “less time with my friends” or “less freedom to do _____” then I will not continue. By doing this we can be more open to the idea of pushing forward.

Step 4. Surround yourself with success stories. Find people that have gone down that path before, we must convince the subconscious that it is possible, and give it something to work towards. If we truly believe we can do great things, so will our subconscious. Visualization is a great tool for becoming more familiar with successful feelings.
Step 5. Reaffirm. Constantly remind yourself of the end result. How it will feel when you get there, the promise you made to yourself. Have something to remind you to do this whenever it is comfortable. Right before bed or right after workout or meditation are good times to access the subconscious.

We have just scratched the surface of understanding and reprogramming the subconscious to be onboard with what we are aiming to accomplish, but I hope this provides some insight or at least got you interested in learning more. I know I am definitely going to be researching and pushing to master my personal supercomputer, and I hope you all do the same!

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness, Live to Become Legendary!~

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

You blink.. And it’s too late…

Y2k….. PS2..Wikipedia… 9/11….iPod….. Facebook…..First black president… Smartphones…Tablets…  The list goes on..

It’s been a lifetime worth of changes.. all within a few moments. Some people theorize that time isn’t chronological…… That it’s happening all at once, and our perception puts it in order…

Who am I to argue? And since I’m not one of the Time lords from Dr. Who, I can only see it like I see it.

One thing I will agree on, it’s all happening pretty damn fast! A few breaths ago it was Christmas 2013, and a blink ago it was new years 2014.. and now we are almost half way through February!

Some of us can look back, stand proud, look at our experiences and all the things accomplished, and say.. “It is good! It is worthy of my legacy!” some of us can’t….

Caught between the day to day of making money, paying bills, seeking human touch, and keeping ourselves entertained or sane, we lose ourselves in the void. And when we find ourselves in the sands of time.. age has had it’s way with us.. Dreams broken… strength faded… drive extinguished… and the last bit of energy remaining, only enough to try and direct our younger generation away from the black hole..

So here we are in the forever ending cycle of doom… What are you going to do about it? When is now the time to break the cycle? When do we take a stand against the constant demotivation that happens around us. When do we direct the sails? Load the missiles of willpower and launch them towards destiny?

The answer lies within you.

It is easy to fail. It is easy to listen to the media, follow the trends… What’s not easy is to take control..

We occasionally get a glimpse of greatness, the Olympics, YouTube, movies…. The human mind and body is capable of things beyond anything we can imagine.

“That’s true…. but I can’t do that…. I can’t do aerobics while suspended from an airplane.. Or I can’t glide through the air with nothing but a pair of skies beneath me…. I can’t…………”

“If you say you can, or you can’t,  either way you are right” Henry Ford.

“K…. So maybe I can…. I know what I want to accomplish, but it seems so far away…. How do I get to that version of me on the timeline?”

Work at it! Every Single Day! Little by Little! Inch by Inch!

“You don’t pay the price for success- you pay the price for failure. You enjoy the benefits of success.”- Zig Ziglar

The Steve Jobs and Bill Gates of this world didn’t get there overnight, before the world even knew they existed, they worked tirelessly towards their goal. Look how many lives they have enriched in the last decade..

So Quick tips on how to take your life off Fast Forward and get the most out of everyday.

1. Press the Pause button!

Set an alarm, or put a post it note somewhere you will see, take the time to stop what you are doing at different times throughout the day, disengage autopilot and think!

Am I on track? What else could I be doing to work towards my goal at this moment?  How many things on my daily task list have I accomplished?

Take time to refocus on what you want out of that day, then get back at it. We at times lose ourselves, so set up signs to remember where you are and where you want to go.

2.Speaking of that Daily Task List, do you have one? If not make one!

What do you want to get out of today? What specifically are you going to accomplish that will get you one inch closer to your goal?

Make of list of these things and commit to sticking to them, and soon you will be getting months of work out of your short weeks!

3. Before going to sleep, Reflect on your day. Was there anything I could have done differently? Where is my time going to be best spent tomorrow?

Slow down the speeding days and pinpoint where you are, and where you want to be tomorrow.

4. Find a few Accountability Partners.

Sometimes you need a fresh perspective on your daily activities, or just the need to share struggles, or some additional motivating energy.

No matter how strong you are, you can’t make it alone. Have someone to help push you when you need it, and listen when you want a friendly voice. This isn’t always the easiest thing to find, but accountability partners will allow you to excel that much quicker! (I could use a few myself! lol)

5. Focus!

If you read my post previous post Relationships:The Secret formula you would have already seen this line.

Focus on the good things and the negative ones will seamlessly fall away.

Or the Perception is Reality peace from Bam! Life Happened!

What ever it is we highlight throughout our day is what is going to stand out and grow.

Focus on the wins not the losses. We can find 1 million reasons why we can’t be successful, But all it takes is one good reason for success and the willpower and guts to do it.

Focusing on the wins will give us those small victories we need daily, to keep us moving forward!

A few moments from now we will be looking back on 2014 and all the amazing things that will happen. Let your story be one of those things! Slow down the days, inch towards your goals, remember to remember, and by years end your victory will overshadow all of society’s failures!

Till next time friends.

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness! Live to become Legendary!~

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Goals:Breaking the barriers

The most difficult, as well as most significant thing you will ever do!

Have you ever had that dream, that felt so real and was so awesome, that after you wake up, you close your eyes and desperately try to go back! I have! Whether it was finding a bag of money, or finally driving your dream car, or finding a collection of all the games you ever wanted, or hanging out with the person of your dreams, with love glistening in the air. It is all crushed by the sound of that DAMN ALARM CLOCK!! You lay back down and try to hang on to the fading glimmer of light leading back into the memory of it, but it fades, the picture get’s blurry, and soon you can’t even remember it…

Sadly this doesn’t just happen at 7:30 AM in the morning. It happens all around us.

Remember when you were a kid, what you dreamt of doing when you grew up? I do, I wanted to be a Fighter Pilot! I wanted to be behind the Joystick with 7 tons of steal, flying through the air faster than the speed of sound, and blasting my way through waves of bad guys, with my lightning fast reflexes.

Then at about 16 my dream was to become a millionaire by 25, running my own company with my beautiful wife as Co-Owner, and having a marvelous life.

Well as the alarm clock AKA everyday life goes off around me, that all became faded memory.

So here I am, about to turn 27, titanic goals, the dream to become legendary, and mark my place in the history of mankind.

What’s different?

Well not much really, I am still a dreamer, but I have attained some of the knowledge and experience to make the toughest decision I will ever make. To do the most significant thing I will ever do.

MAKE A COMMITMENT! 

Anyone that have ever been married will probably hold testament that when they stand up at the podium, and make those vows, that it changed their lives.

The single most devastating thing people don’t do is commit to reaching their goals. It’s almost the end of January and probably about 80% of the people that made new years resolutions, have already forgot about them.

Until we are 100% committed to reaching our dreams, we will never even get close to even see the glimmer of them.

Take a look at this adaptation of something we have all Heard before, And if you are serious, say it with your name and your goal.

I will be the first to Commit, and it is here in writing!

I, (Your Name)__Andre Taylor__  Commit to achieving the Goals of  (Your Dreams)_Writing my trilogy & Traveling the world_ to be my focus, to work on and strive for from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until their completion (or as long as I live).

“Well so what?” you ask, “you are committed now what?”

Well now you have to also commit your everyday actions towards them. Dreams are only words until you begin to inch towards them day by day. A football player can tell you that one inch can make the difference between winning or losing a Superbowl!

Well every action you take daily will determine the achievement or faded memory of your dreams.

See my early post on how to break down those big dreams into little chunks so you can tackle it everyday in smaller portions.

Nemesis : P.2 of Breaking down barriers and understanding your true potential!

And as promise I will be writing my next post on Slowing down the years, and getting the most out of our days. I wanted to share these thoughts before I finished that one, Specifically because I also needed to commit to writing more, and making my blogs more frequent!

Thanks for reading all, Also feel free to send me suggestions on other topics you would like to learn more about.

Let’s start taking our Goals seriously, make the Commitment, and the path to reaching  them will reveal itself as we inch towards it!

Until next time friends!

Andre Taylor

~Born for Greatness! Live to become Legendary!~

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